October 25, 2019 •

Claudia, age 18

It was about 4 years ago when I was in senior 2,the year 2015 and I was 14 yrs then.Iwasina boarding School ever since I was 7 years old. So I was used to the fellow kids around me. One Class would have a dormitory but since we were very few, the Senior 2s were mixed with the 3s to share the same dormitory. That is when I met a certain girl.

At first, I was afraid of her since was a class above but later she became my friend and we started off on an adventure. With time, we got to be best friends. We did everything together out of class, she was so funny and imaginative. I loved Rashidah so much. My Schoolmates thought I was quiet, my Classmates thought I was ok but my friends knew that I was crazy. Little did I know she had something else in mind. She had other plans for me.

The 3r​d term of my Senior 2 was about to end, where I came from every year, by the Education of Uganda, one studies 3 terms (3months each term) in order to be promoted to another Class. I was so excited to join Senior 3 and consider myself a big girl. Anyway, the girl started acting weird, very strange and secretive. But she was my best friend so I decided that come rain, come sunshine I will standby her. When I asked her what the matter was, all she used to say was, “you will know with time”. I promised her that everything will be alright but that was the one promise I wish I never made. When I remember those days, tears fill my eyes.

After sometime, it was a Friday at midday, I was sick so I decided to stay in the dormitory but all the others were in Class when the girl came on my bed and told me the matter. We were the only ones in the room. The first thing she asked me was whether I had some feelings for her, without a 2n​ d thought I told her the truth, “NO”, and this is when tears started rolling down her cheeks as she confessed her love for me. She claimed that ever since she met me, she has had feelings for me and now she can’t hold it anymore.

Let she realized that I wasn’t really willing to agree to the relationship she was suggesting or offering. It resulted to a force, she was determined to rape me for her pleasure and claimed that nobody would believe me in the first place if I reported her. I was heartbroken. I still don’t know how but I pushed her with all my strength and anger and she fell a distance badly hurt. I was so scared, I sobbed but not that I was hurt but because I was stabbed in the back. She was taken to the School Nurse while she said that she slipped and fell. I felt so angry but at the same time so pity because she was so hurt and had broken a few bones. Worst of all, I had no one to talk to about it, it was my deep dark secret. I didn’t trust anyone, not even my parents and my big sister. Little did I know that my nightmare wasn’t over.

As the girl was recovering, the School Nurse told me to take good care of her because everyone considered me her best friend. I had to feed her, shower her, put her in bed, and lots of other stuff, one day when I was showering her, she claimed that the sponge was too rough on her damaged skin and she would prefer if I used my bare hands as the sponge, I was shocked and had refused but the School Nurse claimed it wasn’t a bad idea but that is because she didn’t know what that meant to the girl. Every time I did it “showering her with my bare hands”, she told me that it felt like a romance and that she loved it. All I could do was to cry.

Finally, the term ended, I was declining in my performance because I was so stressed. My Dad decided it is better if I changed the School. It felt like Heaven on earth but he didn’t know what that meant to me. I was free! At heart I said that, if that is what it means to be a girl, then I don’t want to be a girl anymore!

Sometimes this still haunts my dreams but I am getting better with time. I have never heard the girl ever since, and I hope I will never meet her again.

When I was young, I was afraid of boys, but as I grew up, I learned that some girls are scarier!